a fairytale were a young girl is kidnapped and forced to marry a demon king and instead of being like no! never! shes like fine as long as i get to help you destroy and hes like lol cool but soon shes doing a bit too much and her husband king is like okay enough power and shes like bye see you in the dungeon and hes like what and hes dragged away cause now everyone is more loyal to her and she reigns over the underworld and the surface world with a cold iron fist
wait if eve ate the apple then why the fuck is it called an adam’s apple
because she ate the apple, and then convinced adam to eat the apple as well so that she wouldn’t be alone, but the piece he bit off got stuck in his throat.
It got stuck because at the exact moment he was swallowing, God jumped out from behind a bush like
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”
I sent my dog outside for standing on the dining room table. This was his response.
Who brought this back
yeah your baby is cute but how much can it benchpress
I still don’t understand why political parties are called “parties”. like where is the beer? who wants to pop bottles? why isn’t barack playing pong with me? did Romney just roll a joint? nobody knows
A tear is made of 1% water 99% GAY
I just got hearing aids for the first time in my life.
I now hear all the things.
I don’t know weather to cry or attempt to hug music somehow.
I heard what my mum actually sounds like. Jesus fuck.
I can hear the neighbors having sex.
This was a mistake.